Category: Man’s Mind

Your friends suck.  How do I know that?  Because I have friends that suck.  You may not even realize it, but we all have them.  Friends that suck up too much of your time, your energy, your money, or even the life out of you.

The unfortunate part is they may not even know that they are doing this, nor may you.  In most cases, it’s not intentional or sneaky, it just happens.  It may be that friend who always comes to you with endless relationship issues.  Or perhaps it’s the friend who always seems short on cash and needs another loan, yet always has the hottest new clothes.  Or maybe it’s your friend who although you love them, you find yourself hitting “decline” on their phone call because you just can’t bear to hear the complaining and negativity again.

Ever find yourself struggling at work a few days a week?  It couldn’t be that friend who guilts you into late night happy hours every Tuesday and Thursday instead of the gym could it?  Have trouble keeping those last few pounds off?  Perhaps it’s your friend who insists you deserve to eat those fatty, rich foods at lunch or dinner because they want them too, and “of course you don’t want to make them feel badly.”   You see, these “friends” slowly suck the life out of your goals without even intending it.  Sometimes they’re just a permanent bad influence.

Of course not all “sucky” friends are so innocent either.  Some of them know they’re doing it, but you’ve always been there for them, so why should they stop?  Like your friend that suddenly turns cold once you’ve lost those twenty pounds, and you refuse to skip the gym now instead of going out with them.   Or how about the insecure friend who thrives off of attention, and knows what throwing a tantrum in public every time will ensure they get their way.  The scary part is we usually identify these more obvious life suckers, but continue to hang out with them just the same.

It is often said that your income is the average of your 5 closest friends’.  Well, I’m going to go as far as to say that holds true not only for wealth, but for your health, relationships, and happiness.  So, am I saying ditch your friends and start over?  Absolutely not.  But, take a real look at your friends and watch out for these signs.  Most importantly, don’t be afraid to mention something to them when you see them, and realize that a true friend will hold your wants and goals in high regard, not just theirs.  And after all this, if they’re still suck, be brave enough to know that you’ll be better off without them!

Your “friend,”

“Friends,” I must say, Facebook has sure made you transparent, and while you may not realize it, seeing you from the “outside looking in,” has exposed a couple patterns that are very alarming.  I bring this up not to be judgmental (Lord knows I have plenty of crap to work on), but in hopes that it makes a few of you think a bit, and perhaps help you end up with some more positive moments in life.

The overwhelming pattern is negativity.  Complaining about this, whining about that, not just occasionally, but all the freaking time!  “Another bad day.”  “Why does this always happen to me?”  “My job sucks.”  “Sick once again!”   Oh, and my favorite classy line, “FML!”  Sound familiar?  I’m sure your news feed sounds the same when you check in to see how everyone’s lives are.

To take this a step further, it always seems to be the same people who have all this “bad stuff” happen to them on a regular basis.  Correlation?  I think so.  Ever hear of the law of attraction?  Look it up, there’s something to it.  You really can manifest what kind of day or life you are going to have.  Wake up telling yourself you’re going to have a bad day…you sure are!  Head to your job while thinking how unfair it is that you have to go there again…you’re right!  Tell everyone “Oh, I’m have the worst luck,” then crappy luck is what you’ll have.  Congratulations!

I know what you’re thinking.  “Sorry Chris, but my job really does suck, I really do have all the bad luck, and looking at my schedule, there’s no way to not have a bad day.”  However, I challenge you to take a different perspective just for a little while.  Sure, we all have tough situations that arise out of our control, but the difference is not in what happens to you, but how you react to it.

Let’s take your “crappy job” for starters.  I know you can’t just up and change it.  But, a friend of mine once gave me great advice: If you’re not passionate about your job, at least be passionate about what it provides you.”  There’s much truth to that.  Not everyone ended up being an actor or astronaut.  Get over it.  Instead, realize that by being lucky enough to go earn a living every day, you get to provide for your family, maybe go on vacation, drive the car you want, or whatever it is that the job provides for you, be passionate about it.  And PS: It’s not that you don’t make enough money, it’s that you choose to do stupid shit with the money you make.  Think that one through for a minute.  We’ve all done it.  When are you going to stop doing it?  Being in finance for so many years, I see people with forty-thousand dollar incomes have more savings than people with two hundred thousand dollar incomes all the time.  It’s not what you make, it’s what you do with it.

Next let’s tackle all of you “chronically sick” or “always stressed out” folks out there.  I’m going to be blunt.  Unless you been dealt the unfortunate hand of a serious disease, stop your damn whining.  In fact, those I’ve met with serious diseases always seem more positive than you perfectly capable individuals.  I’ll tell you why you’re sick all the time: You’re out of shape.  You eat crap all the time, and you have a bad attitude.  Get off your damn asses and make healthy eating and exercising a priority.  Too busy?  Lori and I have four successful business that all require a ton of time and travel, yet we get our butts up extra early to head around the lake each morning, in the dark, and even when it’s zero degrees.  Drop the excuses, and make it a priority.  Too tired to exercise and eat right?  Wrong.  You’re tired BECAUSE you don’t exercise and eat right.  Trust me, you have it backwards right now.

Finally, for those of you with “bad luck.”  Luck is informally defined as when opportunity meets preparation.  Meaning, if you have done nothing to put yourself in a good position, when an opportunity finally arises, you will not be able to take advantage of it, and you’ll go around telling everyone your story about how you have such bad luck.  However, the reverse is true as well.  If you’re always doing your best to prepare for any opportunity (eating healthy, exercising, saving money, learning, etc…) then when that opportunity does present itself, you’ll be ready!  You’ll be able to take advantage of whatever that opportunity is, and you’ll be running around bragging about your “good luck” in no time.

I’ll leave you with this.  Do nothing with this blog, and enjoy your ever-sucky life.  Not my problem.  But, dare to try some of this on for size, and you may start to see things snowball in your favor for once.  A coworker once challenged me “why do you always seem so positive on Facebook? Your life can’t possibly be that good all the time.”   I thought about that question and answered, “yes, it really is that good all the time.”  It’s not that I don’t have unfortunate things happen like everyone else, I just choose to enjoy all the positive things that far outweigh the few negative things each day.  My positive outlook literally manifests itself into a good day.  So when I wake up each morning, I’m pretty-much guaranteed a great day, with just a few hiccups.  I hope one day you are too.

Stay well,